I’ve been going to the same church my entire life. My pastor, who is also my dad’s best friend, was actually at the hospital when I was born. And it seems like I’ve been hearing the people at my church, and other churches I’ve visited, talk about their “calling” or “purpose” ever since I was a little girl. And to be honest, I didn’t think I had a unique one. So for the last ten years, I’ve basically been trying to make one up. I’m notorious for second-guessing myself and I am always afraid that when I feel like something is right, that it’s actually wrong. And I think that’s why I’ve bounced around from idea to idea, plan after plan.
I dropped out of college twice. Moved to Florida and back. Applied to Parsons The New School for Design to get a degree in fashion (and got in!), started my applications to get my MFA in Creative Writing (but never finished them because I was afraid of how much it would cost. How ironic in light of my law school loans.), applied (and went) to law school. Each time, I just knew that it was right for me. I could talk everyone into agreeing with me too. And the thing is, I could have done any of those things and loved them. But something was missing. I never felt like any of them really touched my true calling. Of course, I have a passion for fashion and I absolutely love writing, but those things don’t represent the true gift I was given.
This Summer, I’ve been focused on finding a career for myself. Currently Coveting is such a fun side-business, but I need a career. Something that will sustain me for years to come. Something that I have a passion for. Something that I was born to do. And I finally figured out what that is.
I was created to be a teacher.
A kindergarten or first grade teacher to be exact. And let me tell you…from the moment that thought popped into my head, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that becoming a teacher is exactly the career God had in mind when he created me. I’ve been a caregiver ever since I was big enough to carry my little sister around on my hip. I taught her everything I knew, including how to read. I started babysitting before I could drive and still babysit to this day. I worked for the Boys and Girls Club throughout most of my college career and if you saw me at a daytime campus event, it was highly likely that I would have a little one with me. Looking back over my life, the moments I’ve had working with children are the most fulfilling and the most natural.
And yeah, I feel pretty dumb about fighting my true calling for much longer than I’d like to admit. And I completely regret thinking that becoming a teacher would tie me down and make me boring. And trust me, it is truly painful to think about the money I’ve spent on law school and the money I still have to spend to get my Masters of Education. And yes, I’ve had to hear Sudan say, “I told you so,” about ten times in the last twenty-four hours. And unfortunately, I will have to endure countless extended-family lectures about the importance of finishing what you start and “we were all so proud and we were SO looking forward to you graduating and becoming a lawyer.” But the feeling of peace and true excitement I have right now trumps all of that. Because I know, for the first time in my life, I am completely in God’s will. And I can’t even describe how amazing that feels.