I’ve been going to the same church my entire life. My pastor, who is also my dad’s best friend, was actually at the hospital when I was born. And it seems like I’ve been hearing the people at my church, and other churches I’ve visited, talk about their “calling” or “purpose” ever since I was a little girl. And to be honest, I didn’t think I had a unique one. So for the last ten years, I’ve basically been trying to make one up. I’m notorious for second-guessing myself and I am always afraid that when I feel like something is right, that it’s actually wrong. And I think that’s why I’ve bounced around from idea to idea, plan after plan.
I dropped out of college twice. Moved to Florida and back. Applied to Parsons The New School for Design to get a degree in fashion (and got in!), started my applications to get my MFA in Creative Writing (but never finished them because I was afraid of how much it would cost. How ironic in light of my law school loans.), applied (and went) to law school. Each time, I just knew that it was right for me. I could talk everyone into agreeing with me too. And the thing is, I could have done any of those things and loved them. But something was missing. I never felt like any of them really touched my true calling. Of course, I have a passion for fashion and I absolutely love writing, but those things don’t represent the true gift I was given.
This Summer, I’ve been focused on finding a career for myself. Currently Coveting is such a fun side-business, but I need a career. Something that will sustain me for years to come. Something that I have a passion for. Something that I was born to do. And I finally figured out what that is.
I was created to be a teacher.
A kindergarten or first grade teacher to be exact. And let me tell you…from the moment that thought popped into my head, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that becoming a teacher is exactly the career God had in mind when he created me. I’ve been a caregiver ever since I was big enough to carry my little sister around on my hip. I taught her everything I knew, including how to read. I started babysitting before I could drive and still babysit to this day. I worked for the Boys and Girls Club throughout most of my college career and if you saw me at a daytime campus event, it was highly likely that I would have a little one with me. Looking back over my life, the moments I’ve had working with children are the most fulfilling and the most natural.
And yeah, I feel pretty dumb about fighting my true calling for much longer than I’d like to admit. And I completely regret thinking that becoming a teacher would tie me down and make me boring. And trust me, it is truly painful to think about the money I’ve spent on law school and the money I still have to spend to get my Masters of Education. And yes, I’ve had to hear Sudan say, “I told you so,” about ten times in the last twenty-four hours. And unfortunately, I will have to endure countless extended-family lectures about the importance of finishing what you start and “we were all so proud and we were SO looking forward to you graduating and becoming a lawyer.” But the feeling of peace and true excitement I have right now trumps all of that. Because I know, for the first time in my life, I am completely in God’s will. And I can’t even describe how amazing that feels.
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
When you are ready I have an amazing Pre-K / Kindergarten teacher for you! I must say she is phenomenal and would love to extend herself when the time comes. In the meantime congrats on being honest with yourself and being obedient to God’s calling for you. :)
Thank you Christie!! :)
Jerrell, that is amazing to hear! The things I’m sure you have learned discovering yourself and the money spent to get to your true calling is nothing in comparison to the reward not only you will have but the lucky kids to be taught and nurtured by you! As a mother myself I can’t tell you how important Sydney’s kindergarten teacher was to her and how she has shaped Sydney’s school career for the better. Thanks for sharing all of your passions because your posts are very inspiring, I really enjoy reading them. :-)
Thank you Hilary! You are completely right. If it took all of that to end up where I’m supposed to be, I’ll take it :)
This is awesome! the funny thing is you are living it out now by the blog! You teach us so much! Love it and Love Ya!
I’m so flattered that people even read this blog, much less learn from it :)
Mrs. Lewis- My Kindergarten teacher and Mrs. Meadows- My First Grade Teacher….two of my absolute favorite teachers ever! One day, you will be on some grown-up’s list of all time favorite teachers! I am excited for you Jerrell! You should come back to Harrisonburg and we can both get our Masters of Ed. together at JMU! :)
omg that would be so amazing! and wait…does that mean you’re gonna be a teacher too?! Twinsies!
Those aha moments are what we find to be the most life changing! I am proud of you Rell. You should go after what you want and you always have. You have just this one life, why not be doing what you love? Can’t wait to see how this chapter in your story unfolds. xoxo
Thank you Chervon! You are such a supportive friend. That’s one of the best things about you :)
I reeeeally want to, but I have been avoiding going back to school (Roy has been on me about it for a while now). We can do it together! :)
Yay YOU! It honestly takes more courage to change and chart a new course than it does to keep doing something your heart isn’t into. Speaking from experience here. I too began law school and figured out it was not my passion and charted a new course. I have NEVER regretted it. I actually got chills when I read about your decision – teachers are HEROES. And I like everyone has mentioned, we all remember our kindergarten/1st grade teachers for a reason. Such an IMPORTANT job. I am excited for you!!!!
Thanks so much Phyllis! And you are so right about the courage it takes to chart a new course. And don’t even get me started on the confidence required to defend that decision to people who might not disagree! I’m so thankful for all of my readers. Your support means the world to me!